Exiled: A Black Diamond Novel by Jessie Walker

Author:Jessie Walker [Walker, Jessie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-08-28T18:30:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

NOLAN

“Today, we’re going to talk about forgiveness.”

The chair next to me squeaks, and I glance over, meeting Skyler’s gaze.

It’s Friday again, another week gone by.

Two to go…

He flashes me a small, shaky smile, and I quirk a brow at him, wondering what that’s about. Is he thinking the same thing I am? Is he realizing just how fast our time together is coming to an end?

But he’s already looking away, giving Kevin his full-attention before I can try and get a better read on him.

“And I don’t mean forgiving those who’ve hurt us. That’s not something for me to decide, or something that even needs to be addressed here unless you’re comfortable sharing. What I want us to focus on today is self-forgiveness. How do we move forward from here? How do we let go of our past mistakes to better our chances of not relapsing when we’re back to our normal lives?”

My chest tightens at his words.

Kevin looks around the room, eyeing us all knowingly. “We’re the ones we have to live with, day in and day out,” he says gravely. “There’s no getting away from ourselves so long as we’re still breathing. And I don’t know about you, but it seems like an awful lot of time and life wasted, if we spend the rest of our days focused on something we can never take back.”

Around the room, a couple people nod. Brows furrow. Eyes redden.

“It’s also not fair to those we hurt along the way. The ones who paid the price of our mistakes,” he adds, adjusting his glasses. “Yes, some might feel differently, depending on the gravity and severity of the situation, but that’s grief talking. Their anger is justified, and during that time, yes, they might want to punish us. And initially, yes, we can allow it.” His gaze flicks to mine again. “It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t. Feeling the remorse, holding ourselves accountable, suffering… It’s what makes us not only human, but shows we’re capable of healing. Changing. Being better.”

Next to me, a hand reaches out. Knuckles drag over the side of my thigh between our chairs.

“It’s why rock bottom is such a pivotal moment in recovery. You might know you have a problem for years—admitting it to ourselves is rarely the issue; we know we’re addicts well before we seek out help—but sadly, it’s oftentimes the case where it takes something horrible and life-shattering to give us the kick in the ass we need.” He chuckles tiredly at that.

Someone sniffles. I even feel my own throat squeezing with tears at what he’s saying.

“And it’s always when we least expect it. We let our guards down once, and that’s when it strikes. Addiction is…insidious. It’s a liar. It’s a trickster.” Kevin squints, looking around the circle. “And we’re not invincible to its charm, no matter how strong we think we are. No matter how far we think we’ve come. It will always be there, lying in wait. That’s just fact.”

My eyes slide shut.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.